I just read about the death of Former Pakistan Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. I am deeply saddened by her assassination.  I don't really understand the desire to take someone's life.  I have such a hard time comprehending murder. 

Also in the news is a developing story of a woman and her boyfriend allegedly killing 6 members of her family, including 2 children.  How can this be?  How can anyone press the cold metal of a gun into the warm loving flesh of a child and pull the trigger?  I hope they were sleeping so they didn't see it coming, feel fear in the last moments of thier life.  Even if the child sleeps... especially if the child sleeps... how can any person committ such a horrific act??????? 

I understand that in the case of Benazir Bhutto political issues were involved, but still the decision to kill involves the active choice of ending anothers life.  It would seem that in such a situation that Benazir becomes objectified by the fact that she stands for beliefs that oppose others, her voice is strong and she is able to rally followers.  Apparently is is easier to eliminate her than to work with her.

I don't understand killing children.
I don't understand killing random people in malls, schools, churches...
I don't understand violence against others

I've lived much of my life with rose colored glasses, seeing the good everywhere, finding the silver linings, turning the other cheek, being the peacemaker... I like feeling positive and inspiring others.  It's not to say that I simply lay down and let everyone walk all over me, I know when to stand up for myself and others when needed, I have a spine and use it to stand tall in the world.  I like peace though, and admittedly will avoid confrontation when I can. 

Today though... I'm weeping for the loss of lives that defy any reasonable explaination...

When I was a teenager I had a poster of this poem called Desiderata hanging on my wall.  It seemed to always make me feel better when I read it feeling blue about my day.  I recently redicovered it and wanted to share it with everyone... and have it here so I can read it when I need it too.

Enjoy!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story.  Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

-- Max Ehrmann

The Desiderata poem can now be downloaded as a PDF file. Learn more.

So much is shifting... I feel like I'm heading for some really big changes.  I've been actually trying to "think" less and listen more.  I realize that I can hear my guides and I notice subtle things around me when I'm quiet.  I'm trying to anaylyze less and trust my intuition more.  I've been guided to a healing acceleration certification, realizing that it is a step in my own healing, but will help me when working with others. 

I think I'm shifting toward looking inward for answers, and I'm moving toward taking better care of myself physically and spiritually.

Kwan-Yin Goddess of Mercy

I think that I always try to be both compassionate and fair, but I think that it depends on the situation as to which is the stronger factor.  If my kids need to share something, then I simply choose what is fair, but I guess I use compassion to help them cope with being fair to each other.  Compromising something to be fair needs compassion to ease the difficulty of the compromise.  Because I'm always compassionate and I feel I'm always fair, so I guess it would really depend on the situation for me to choose one over the other because I'm inclined to always choose them equally.

That's my 2 cents...

I received an email this morning requesting help... I wasn't sure what to think at first.  How can I help... What can I do?  I went to the profile of the sender and realized that he had written a blog with the same request for help and while his entry had been viewed by many, only one person had taken the time to write a comment.  So, I thought maybe if I wrote a blog entry it would help him.  Then, I realized that maybe I could also send out an message to some Zaadzsters that have profiles that look like they might help.  I'm not sure if it will amount to anything, but it's the least I can do to respond to the request for help.

Here is the blog by Christian:  http://filios.zaadz.com/blog/2007/7/i_need_help#comments

Maybe you can simply add a comment of encouragement or... maybe... just maybe you will be able to help create a mirror for the world.

Let's pitch in and encourage Christian's efforts.
~P

Love is the healer of all things.  I believe there are different kinds of love, but really they all start in our heart and spread to other parts of our being.  Sometimes love is intellectual, sometimes all consuming, sometimes sexual, and sometimes compassionate.  I know that is only the tip of the iceberg and I really don't want to analyze such a beautiful feeling.  I love easily.  It's the feeling I tap into when I'm using Reiki and when I meet someone new.  I try to approach life with love and in my choices, although it's not always so easy with some people that we encounter.  I enjoy the feelings of love in all it wonderful forms.  In addition to food and shelter it's the one thing that we all need to survive.  Without it, we ultimately shrivel up and die.  There are many ways to heal our bodies, but love is the one thing that helps our bodies heal themselves.  Love heals our spirits, which is the one thing that truly keeps us alive.

"All we need is love..."  Beetles

Love to all...
~Paula

Dreams are wonderful gifts for me.  I've done some really great healing work in my dreams that I was not able to do in my waking time.  I've talked to people in my dreams that I really needed to speak with and resolved issues over time and several dreams.  I've found things in my dreams that I had lost in my everyday life.  I've been the star of movies in my dreams, living an epic story that I probably should have written down when I woke up because now the stories have faded.  My dreams are vivid and I'm very fortunate to remember them with amazing detail.  I love going to sleep and wonder where I'm going, who I might meet, or what messages I might receive.  There are times that I don't dream or I can't remember and it makes me feel so disappointed because dreaming is something that I really enjoy.  This is not to say I haven't had my share of bad dreams, but I've found that this is usually in response to stress going on in my life or based on current and/or old fears.  I like looking for meaning behind dreams, but I realize that not all dreams have a deep meaning and they were for entertainment value, or at least it seems that way at the time.  I hope that I'm not neglecting them as gifts that were intended to be written down... hmmm... maybe I should think more about that.  Maybe I'll write about the next movie dream and see what everyone at Zaadz thinks.  It could be a best seller!!  I suppose a dream journal would be interesting now that I see how much my dreams mean to me...

Having recently read a blog by Keith called "Syncronicity" I have taken a few moments to tap into the Universe and try to get out my own way.  I've been listening and hearing encouragement from angels and guides.  I like my job but it is not satisfying my heart path of making a difference.  I have to help pay the bills, but I think my dissatisfaction leans more toward my fears of transitioning to something that may not work.  I trust in the Universe and Spirit that I have all I need and that it will all work out... but as I write that is it really true?  If I truly believed that I am on the right path and trust in Spirit, then I would take the leap of faith and do healing work that I will be able to help pay the bills.

I feel the call of serving Spirit.  I know I can make a difference.  In an angel mediation last night, Gabriel told me that I am making a difference now.  I am on my path.  Still, I struggle with this.  I am positive and share healing energy whenever I can.  I donate time to help others.  I operate from my heart.  I am the best Mom that I can be to my children.  I know these things make a difference.  So what is it that's lacking here?  I have a vision of a women's wellness center.  I see it so vividly some days, and I'm being inspired to make it happen.  It's hard to have a general office job when what I really want to be doing is working in the center.  I've been told by many guides and angels that it will come to fruition in time.  Clearly this is on the Universe's time schedule not mine.  Have patience, I know...

I need to make more contacts (thanks to Zaadz I am).  I need to figure out the money.  I've been working on a plan.  It will happen, I see it happening in my mind's eye.  I just want to be there today, in the loving environment, celebrating women, healing, guiding...

I guess I just needed a moment to share.  I know I'm on the path to make the center happen.  To opening myself even more to all the possibilities... If I had a funding sponsor, I would get started today.  So, if you know anyone that wants to invest in a healing facility... let them know about me.  I'll start posting more about my vision so maybe others will send energy to help me move along with patience.

Gracious Blessings ~Paula

So... I guess I was not as ready to start a blog as I thought.  Here I am one year later and writing my 2nd entry. 

I started the job with the old company.  I wouldn't say it was a mistake because it reminded me of an important lesson that I thought I learned a while ago.  For me, I should not go back to something that didn't work the first time around.  I had that philosophy when I dated that if I broke up with someone that wouldn't go back to that person.  I've seen that truth over and over again.  I guess I didn't recognize the similarity of going back to the old company would be like going back to an ex-husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.  Indeed this was the case.  We fell into the old patterns of behavior and we were both unhappy all over again.  I broke up with them again after 6 months.  I working for a small company of blasting consultants and feeling much better about myself.  I feel appreciated.

So a little piece of advice... before going to back to a relationship or a company evaluate the reason for going back and check for changes in both yourself and the other party involved.  It didn't take long to realize I had not changed as much as I thought and the other party had not changed at all.

Bright Blessings

Greetings Everyone!

Today is a good day to start a blog.  It is my last day working for RE/MAX Properties in Nashua, NH and on Monday I will be starting a new job, but at my old company.  I'm excited for the change and the new opportunities that it will bring.  This brings me to another change, bringing my children to daycare.  I am fortunate to find someone that has is licensed to watch children in her home.  My husband and I have been tag-team parents working opposite ends of the week, but now I'm going to start working full time so we need childcare help.  I think it will be great for the kids to get some interaction with other kids and still have the at home feeling.  What I really have a hard time with though is the expense of childcare.  I understand that people need to make a living, but it is hard to give up so much of it for childcare.  I want a quality person, I just think that it costs more than it should.  Then again, I think most things cost more than they should... but that is a discussion for another day.

For now I am preparing for the changes to come in the next few weeks... Wish me luck,

~P